Sorry to my blog readers out there, I know that I’ve been neglecting this blog for a little while now. Life has taken over, and unfortunately seems to sweep me up and run away with me from time to time.
Mason is growing at an astonishing rate. He got his first tooth a few days ago, and is really working hard to sit up on his own. He’s just about 17 pounds now, and talks…and talks, and talks, and talks! Lots of da-da-da and other syllables. He enjoys dancing, being tickled, and playing with his many toys.
All that being said, I’ve been finding his development to be extremely trying lately. He is in the middle of several important milestones: sitting up on his own, trying to find toys (or other things that are certainly NOT toys) that he can’t see, and crawling. While it’s always a little fascinating to watch his steps of learning, it’s difficult to keep patience with a baby who wants so badly to do something and is thoroughly pissed off when he can’t.
The other day Mason fussed for five straight hours. Yes I mean literally, five LONG hours. First it was because he couldn’t find the remote after he was done eating (one example of something that is not a toy). Then it was because he found the remote and I took it away from him. The look on his face was as if he had been starving for two days and I’d taken away his bottle. Next it was because he rolled onto his tummy and couldn’t get to the toy that was a foot away from him. He clawed at the carpet, but to no avail. He wasn’t going anywhere. Me giving him the toy did not appease him– he wanted to do it himself. And next…well, I think you get the point.
So I found myself wanting to rip my hair out. Which is a feeling that I struggle with. It’s hard to get frustrated, or dare I say angry, with a baby. Because no matter what’s been going on, it’s not their fault. I’m not saying that it’s mine either, but it’s certainly not Mason’s. So whose fault is it?
It’s no one’s. And that’s why I struggle with it. There is no one to blame, and sometimes there really isn’t a way to fix it. The workings of a 6-month-old are just something that I have to let be sometimes. Eventually, he will work it out and he’ll learn how to sit up and crawl and all those other fun things. My frustrated emotions are a handful but at least I can understand why they’re there and that they will pass, sooner than I probably think.
So where does that leave my little guy?
Mason continues to develop his emotions every day. By now, he’s probably experienced happy, sad, mad, and the worst of them all, frustrated. Unlike me, however, Mason doesn’t know what will soon pass. He has no concept of change or development. It breaks my heart to think of him feeling like he will NEVER be able to crawl. He doesn’t have the understanding of emotions the way that I do. Distraction is one of his only comforts, until he finally masters the skills that he has been working so hard on.
So when I get so aggravated that I want to scream, that is what I try to remind myself of. This frustration is only a momentary setback. In a few months from now, I’ll be so busy chasing Mason around while he crawls that I won’t even be thinking of him clawing at the carpet and whining.
And best of all, at least I grasp all of that, and am not left thinking that it will never end. So for now, I suppose all that’s left to do is soothe my little, developing boy the best I can, while he deals with my old friend frustration that he has only just met. I can’t wait to see the joy on his face (and mine!) when all of his fussy determination pays off.
travels through motherhood 